It’s Friday night.
You look good, dudes are buying you drinks, you had some shots with the girls before you left, and you might as well keep going.
But you’re starting to feel yourself becoming somebody else.
You’re approaching that magic number. For some girls, it’s 2 drinks; for others, it’s 10. Whatever your number is, once you get there, your drunk alter ego comes out and her goal is to ruin your life. Drunk texts, spending all your money, flashing the bartender, she’s down for it all. The next day you helplessly try to blame all your mistakes on her. But there are a few things you can do to stop her crazy antics from the start.
1) Leave your cell phone at home. Nothing is worse than waking up to 50 sad messages you don’t remember sending to your ex, or a booty call accidentally sent to your dad. The only way to avoid this is to leave your phone home and have your roommate hide it (while she’s sober) so that your drunk alter ego has no way of hacking into your contacts.
2) Bring only cash. Let’s face it: as crazy as she is, drunk-you is generous. She likes to spontaneously buy drinks for the whole bar. But if she only has cash (cards left at home) her spending is limited and she won’t run up a $300 charge on your credit card.
3) Find a friend with the same taste in men and be each other’s make-out lookouts. If you’re DTF, let your girl know, and she’ll help you scope out the right guys and dump the losers even when you get too drunk to realize that this Chris Hemsworth is actually more of a Mick Jagger.
4) Leave ibuprofen and a water bottle on your bed. If all else fails and you can’t stop your drunk alter ego, at least you can leave her the supplies to take care of your body so that you’re hangover-free the next morning when you have to go back and fix her mistakes.