haven’t had a boyfriend since moving to New York. I haven’t found the Mr. Big to my Carrie, the Chandler to my Monica, the Ted to my Robin Scherbatsky. While I’m in no rush to find “The One,” I do feel lonely at times. There are nights when my friends are out with their significant others, and I’m home alone, cuddling my cat, wondering when will I find love or when will love find me?
A couple of months ago, I asked my friend, “Why is it so hard to get a boyfriend here?” He told me, “Maybe we’re just overcomplicating things. Maybe we just need put our best foot forward and be Carrie.”
“Carrie?” I asked. “From Sex and the City?”
“Yes, Carrie.” He looked at me with wide, hopeful eyes and continued, “Carrie is the type who gets what she wants. She gets what she wants because she’s assertive and because she’s willing to take chances. Right now, we’re Charlottes. And nobody wants to be a Charlotte.” I asked him what’s wrong with Charlotte and he said, “Nothing really. It’s just she’s not much of a doer when it comes to life. She’s always waiting for love or whining and complaining because things didn’t go her way.”
“Okay,” I said trying to take what he said in. “If we don’t want to be Charlottes, how do we become Carrie?”
He told me his plan: to kiss 24 men before his 25th birthday. He told me he was going to be more assertive by making opportunities for himself whether it be in work or love. He told me he was going to try to be his best self. And from then on, I decided I wanted to be my best self too. I decided it was time to kiss my way through New York. That maybe instead of finding love, I’d just try to have fun and see where life takes me. That it was time for me to be Carrie.
I’ve been on a few dates since making that decision. No one really stuck, but even though I haven’t met the guy for me, and even though I still get lonely at times, at least I can say I’m trying. And enjoying these new experiences.